Season Nine George Episode Guide

The Butter Shave 9/25/97 George has a job interview with Play Now, a playground equipment manufacturer. They think he's handicapped and give him the job and his own bathroom. We also find out that he's a closet Bania fan. But George actually hurts his other leg (sprains his ankle) and the company gives him a little cart to get around in. He gets caught carrying the cart in flight from some elderly people.

The Voice 10/2/97 Jerry has to decide between his new girlfriend or doing a funny voice (Hellloooooooo!!!). He chooses the voice but then changes his mind when the gang is tired of doing it. George's boss tries to get him to quit but he is no match for George. Elaine back slides and end up with Puddy again and again and again... Kramer gets an intern for "Kramerica" to help him run his daily business.

Serenity Now 10/9/97 George is hired by his father to sell computers out of the family garage. He's in competition with Lloyd Braun and Frank makes them compete for sales. George is losing, but then decides to buy all the computers and store them at Kramer's. His pitch includes porn and stock quotes and he coins the term schiksappeal to describe Elaine's power over Jewish men. George's sales plan is foiled when Kramer explodes and destroys 25 computers--he also sells two dozen computers to Art Vandelay). George also spills his guts to Jerry and scares him straight.

The Blood 10/16/97 George's new girlfriend, Tara, is into burning vanilla inscence during sex. But all he can think about is food so he tells Tara that he has a bus transfer that is only good for one more hour to flee to the diner. So he gets an idea--combine food and sex! Strawberries and chocolate sauce, Pastrami on rye with mustard, pudding skin singles. But he goes to far when he tries to combine food, sex, and tv and is dumped by Tara. Jerry calls him the fornicating gourmet--soft boiled eggs, spicy mustard sauce and pastrami. Elaine gets him to come to Vivian's where he tells her he's an architect and they soon find out that they have something in common--food, sex, and tv.

The Junk Mail 10/30/97 George comes up with a great idea to get off the phone: chinese food! In fact, his parents use it to get off the phone with him. It turns out that his parents have had with him and want to cut him loose. So for revenge, he asks his cousin out (Rhisa). Hoping that she would be repulsed and tell his parents, it backfires--she's into it.

The Merv Griffin Show 11/06/97 George's new girlfriend, Miranda, thinks he's a killer because he's run over pigeons. Then he runs over a squirrel and tries to save it and takes it to a vet. He thought he'd be through with the squirrel, but he has to take it home and then to the Merv Griffin Show so that he could hopefully pawn it off on Jim Fowler. Of course it backfires and a hawk attacks George.

The Slicer 11/13/97 George has an interview at Kruger Industrial Smoothing and we learn that his last job at Play Now lasted fourteen days (or four days). But he can't but help recognize Kruger from the boom box incident in the summer of 1989. George had gone swimming in the ocean and when he returned, his clothes, towel, and umbrella were all in the ocean. He picked up a family's boom box and threw it in the ocean. Except, George thinks that it was an accident and the tide sucked his stuff into the ocean. However, there is a complication--George is in a photo in Kruger's office. So he decides to have it airbrushed--which backfires. So he must now have a picture of Kruger without his shirt on to reinsert him into the photo. His plan: a skin cancer screening test. Dr. Van Nostrom thinks he has cancer and George learns his original suspicions were true.

The Betrayal 11/20/97 George demands to sleep with Elaine as reparations for Jerry sleeping with Nina Stengel. He also vows not to go to the bathroom in India and wears Timberlands all the time for fear of appearing short to Nina (he's 5 foot 6 and he gets two inches from the boots). We also find out that Jerry beat him up in the fourth grade.

The Apology 12/11/97 George has never had living room naked, but Jerry has--at least now. He hears that Jason Hankey is in AA and on step nine--make amends. He's anxious to receive an apology for a remark about his head stretching out the neck hole of a cashmere sweater. He states that he was stuck on Webelos for three years because he couldn't win the pine derby. He is duped into a rageaholics anonymous meeting and still does not receive his apology.

The Strike 12/18/97 George is still in good with the Yankee Stadium grounds crew and gets Yankee tickets for Tim Whatley. In return, George receives a card with the name of a charity--Children's Alliance, stating that George made a donation. Which gives him an idea for gifts at work, Kruger Industrial Smoothing. He'll just make up a charity and hand out cards, the charity is the Human Fund. Also in this episode, we learn that Frank created his own holiday, Festivus. Moreover, Kruger makes a donation of $20,000 to the Human Fund, but they find out it's fake and he has to give the money back.

The Dealership 01/08/98 George accompanies Jerry to a Saab dealership, where Jerry is supposed to get a great deal on a new car from Puddy. Once there, George goes nuts over a twix candy bar, it's the only candy with the cookie crunch. When he finally gets enough change to get the bar, it gets stuck and a mechanic takes it. To prove that the mechanic stole his twix, George constructs a cany line-up (of all twix bars), but the people in the dealership eat all the candy before he can accomplish his goal.

The Reverse Peephole 01/15/98 George reveals that he has a sixth sense--cheapness. He uses his gift to get a massage chair for an apartment warming. He also carries a very large overstuffed wallet which contains: Irish money, an Exxon card to redeem a free save the tiger poster in Orlando, sweet and low, and hard candy. When he finally receives the massage chair, he decides to keep it. His wallet explodes when he tries to stuff in one more piece of paper--a guitar lesson.

The Cartoon 1/29/98 George's new girlfriend, Janet, looks eerily like Jerry. Is George secretly in love with Jerry? The clincher is when Janet gets gum caught in her hair and cuts her hair short, just like Jerry. George can't take it.

The Strongbox 2/5/98 George's latest girlfriend, Maura, refuses to break up with him. George tries to justify his case with facts: he doesn't liker her, she talks to her food, and she's not attractive. But Elaine's situation gives him an idea: cheat, get caught, relationship over. So he decides to date a secretary at work, Loretta, who is really tan. However, Loretta won't take no for an answer either. Oddly, both of them are okay with the cheating. At the end, George decides to give them each $55 to end the relationship.

The Wizard 2/26/98 Susan's parents reappear and ask George to appear at a Foundation function. So, he lies about having a house in the Hamptons. But his cover is blown when Elaine runs into them in Monk's and laughs off George's house. Jerry is away, so Elaine and George are on their own. Jerry has asked Elaine to pick up the mail, something George is jealous of. So Jerry asks him to flush the toilets twice a day to clear the gaskets. In the apartment, Elaine tells George that Ross's know. So he's sees how far they'll let him go--all the way to the Hamptons.

The Burning 3/19/98 George's idea to save Kruger's company: don't sign the checks--it's a hit, but then he stays too long and blows his performance. He gets another chance when the company messes up and sands down the head of a statue to the size of a softball. George suggests cutting the head off and putting a pumpkin under the arm--it's a hit and he leaves on the high note. George is so successful, it blows up in his face and Kruger asks him to work on the big project. One problem: Kruger is better at avoiding work than George.

The Bookstore 4/9/98 George takes a book of French Impressionist paintings into the bathroom at Brentano's. He has to buy the book for $100. He tries to return it, but the book is flagged everywhere. He almost sells it to Elaine for $125, but Jerry blows his party. Then he tries donating it to charity, but Rebecca De Mornay foils that plan--she used to work at Brentano's. So he decides he's going to steal a book and then return it, but Jerry turns him in.

The Frogger 4/23/98 Mario's pizza, Jerry and George's old high school hangout, is closing. They decide to visit one last time and George sees he still has the high score on the Frogger (860,000) and decides to buy it. But he can't unplug it or the score is gone. Ultimately, it's hit by a truck.

The Maid 4/30/98 George wants a nickname and settles on "T-bone." But it goes to Watkins instead. He begs Watkins to give it up and succeeds in getting nicknamed "Koko." Still mad, he hears that there is a maid from Maid To Order whose name is Koko. He hires her as a vice-president and then gets nicknamed "Gammy."

The Puerto Rican Day 5/7/98 The gang is returning from a Mets game, a game they left early with the Mets trailing 8-0. George reveals he was a big hit in the movie theater, a showing of Blimp-The Hindenburg Story, when after the blimp goes down, he yells, "That's gotta hurt." It's a hit. But the gang gets stuck in traffic and George decides to try his line again. A laser pointer guy steals the show and George's line bombs. And our good friend Art Vandelay makes an appearance in a $1.5 million apartment.

The Finale 5/14/98 (code name:A Hard Nut to Crack) NBC wants to do the "Jerry" show so George and Jerry prepare to move to LA. The whole gang decides to take a trip to Paris but end up in Massachutsets when Kramer causes a problem with the plane. While there they witness a car jacking and are arrested for not helping. A trial ensues with all the people they have wronged throughout the years appearing as character witnesses. They are found guilty and sentenced to 1 year in jail.